I push her messy hair back behind her ear and press my lips to her skin once more. I whisper in her ear, inviting her over to my place this Saturday night.
“Are you sure?” she giggles, looking into my blue eyes. “What we did was wrong, wasn’t it?”
I merely groan.
“Sweetheart, it’s wrong, but I don’t care. Say you’ll come.”
With that, she nods, and my heart leaps with joy.
It’s amazing how much can change in the matter of just a few days. But as I stand at a bin of romance novels with Nicole in the school library once again, I know. Without realizing it, my life as I knew it is over. I no longer idolize the men on the covers of these books. I no longer yearn for my knight in shining armor. I no longer wonder. I now am.
I’m pulled from my train of thought.
“Alright, spill,” Nicole demands, shooting me a somewhat exasperated look.
“Spill what?” I ask innocently, even though I know exactly what she means. She can tell something is up.
“You have been acting totally different the last couple of days! You’re so aloof, and you’ve been off in La-La-Land ever since that meeting with the Nelsons. This is freaking Fabio on horseback, Til!” she says, pointing at the book in her hand. “Have you gone blind? Do you not see how hot he is? What is going on in that crazy little head of yours?”
I blush and look down.
“Nothing. I’ve just been thinking a lot. I guess I’m just trying to care a little less after everything with Sam. You know, detach a little.”
“Bzzzt! Wrong answer. Did you forget I know you better than you know yourself? Spill the beans Tilly-Billy. What is up?! Tell me!”
I look around to see who’s in ear shot. I don’t want to keep a secret from my best friend, but at the same time, how can I tell her what really happened? It’s even too crazy for me to fully comprehend still.
“Du-du-du duda du-du-du!’ Nicole is singing gameshow theme songs at me now, even as I mentally battle myself about what to do. Only Nicole could be so annoying yet cute.
“Alright! Alright! But you can’t tell anyone.”
She rolls her eyes.
“Duh, who would I tell anyways?”
“And you have to promise not to freak out, okay?”
“Oh, this is gonna be a goodie. Promise. Now tell me what the big secret is? Come on, I can’t wait!”
Nicole’s on the edge of her seat in anticipation, literally. I gulp and take one more look around the library. The coast is clear. I bring my lips up to her ear, cupping my mouth with my hands.
“I made love to Michael Nelson.”
At first, Nicole is confused.
“Who’s that? Have you been hiding things from me, girl?”
I roll my eyes.
“No, you know who Michael Nelson is. Samantha’s dad.”
At that, Nicole hops out of her seat and yells in surprise.
I cup one hand around her mouth, the other on her shoulder trying to get her back into her chair. I should have known better than to share the news with her in the school library of all places.
“Cool it, Nicole!” I hiss. “You said you wouldn’t freak out.”
My friend merely tries to speak from behind my hand, and I take it away. She bursts forth with words.
“What? How could I not!? And how on earth did this happen?! Details girl, give me details! You bad girl, you. Holy shit.”
“He came by my house after the meeting in Principal Hartman’s office to apologize again and—”
“He came to you?! Your parents’ house? This is getting weirder and weirder.”
“I know. I was giving him advice on his divorce and how it has been affecting Sam—”
“Girl, you were advising your bully’s dad? This is so wild!”
I stare at her.
“Will you let me tell the story?!” I demand, half in frustration and half in amusement at her excitement. Nicole immediately settles down, although her expression is still eager.
“Sorry, sorry. So how did it happen?”
“I was giving him advice and he just came out of left field and kissed me. Cut me off mid-sentence. I couldn’t believe it, but he says he was impressed by my maturity and insight. And things kind of just progressed from there naturally. And very quickly, come to think of it.”
“Were you interested though?”
I stare at my friend.
“I’m sorry, but have you seen Michael Nelson? Of course I was interested. I didn’t really think it would go beyond a kiss at first, but even the lightest touch from him felt so good, and I couldn’t resist.”
Nicole nods her head with awe.
“Wow, and you’re already on a first name basis with him and everything. Dang, you really did fuck him.”
I look at her very matter of factly. I realize in this moment just how profoundly grown up I feel.
“It isn’t just about sex, Nicole. We have a real spark. It was more like making love. And and and! The other night is not even the best part of the story. He invited me over to his place Saturday night for a real date.”